Your Most Important Relationship

Your relationship with your boss matters – a lot.  It’s the most critical factor in your engagement and enjoyment of the job.  If you have a great boss, he’s motivating you to work hard, develop your skills, and thrive in the role.  However, if you have a bad boss, he’s likely the cause of your frustration, disengagement and stress, and he probably isn’t getting the best out of you.

I believe you need to be the catalyst for improving this relationship. You don’t have to be a victim – you can proactively change your attitude and behaviors.  Start by studying your boss to really understand his motives. I’ve developed 10 questions that will give you the insight you need to figure out where your boss is coming from; I call this “studying your boss”.  The resulting insights will help you explain his work style, behaviors and motives.  Next, take an honest look at how she sees you, and be prepared to incorporate that view into your plans for change; for this step, I’ve created five questions that will help you gain this perspective.  Then, armed with these reflections, rewrite your story and adjust your attitude.  Try new behaviors, and stop destructive ones.

The point is to figure out what your boss really wants from you, and try harder to make it all work.  You can do this; you can change your relationship with your boss.  But you have to make it happen.  I know you want the boss to change, but I wouldn’t sit around waiting for that miracle.  He’s not going to change or adapt to your style; you need to adjust to his.  You must look at this relationship differently, and take responsibility for improving it.  You can make a more enjoyable work experience for yourself, but you have to put in the work.  If you follow this simple process, I’m confident you can a build a better relationship with your boss!